1/21/2026

On the U.S. protests: It would be a shame (a satire)

[Provided by a friend on a social media platform]

It would be a shame if protesters began making their signs out of quarter-inch-thick plywood to stop rubber bullets, forming a tight shield wall to prevent police from singling out and mobbing individual protesters. 

It would be a shame if the people behind the shield wall held up umbrellas so that tear gas canisters fired over their heads on the front line will be bounced away. 

It would be a shame if protesters began constructing improvised armor vests out of duct tape, hard-backed books, and ceramic tiles.

It would be a shame if protesters started wearing safety glasses, hard hats, respirators, and gardening gloves, all of which can be found at the same hardware stores as the plywood. 

It would be a shame if they started using traffic cones (the kind without the hole in the top), upside down buckets, or other improvised lids to contain teargas by placing them over the canisters.

It would be a shame if protesters learned that police scanners are legal to own in the US, allowing them to learn where police are moving, and what routes they intend to take. 

It would be a shame if they discovered that these scanners can be used to send as well as receive, allowing them to flood the scanner frequencies with noise.

It would be a shame to copy & paste this to your own blog for others to see and also c & p.

All of this would be a terrible, terrible shame.

An even worse shame would be to start donating these items to protesters.

Heh heh.